


Storybook Love

by loveisntsillyatall



Category: Glee
Genre: Adventure, M/M, Romance, the princess bride!klaine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 09:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveisntsillyatall/pseuds/loveisntsillyatall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles. The Princess Bride!Klaine</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic is taken from the song "Storybook Love" by Willy DeVille. It is the song that plays during the end credits of The Princess Bride.

_Come my love, I'll tell you a tale,_   
_Of two boys and their love story..._

 

Kurt was raised on a small farm in the county of Lima. His favourite pastimes were riding his horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Blaine, but he never called him that. Nothing gave Kurt as much pleasure as ordering Blaine around.

Kurt rode on his trusty steed, nearing the family farm, wind whipping by his face. There was simply nothing like this feeling. There could never be a feeling better than this one, he thought.

After dismounting his horse gracefully, Kurt turned to the farm boy. Blaine was currently cleaning out the stables. Without a doubt, Blaine would drop what he was doing and accomplish the task Kurt had in store for him instead. He always did.

"Farm boy. Polish my horse's saddle. Want to see my face shining in it by morning," Kurt told him.

"As you wish," Blaine replied, giving a nod and the tiniest of smiles.

'As you wish' was all he ever said.

Kurt thought he saw a kind of twinkle in Blaine's eyes as he said it, but it couldn't have been. He brushed it off and turned on his heels, walking up to the house.

What Kurt didn't see was the long, lingering look Blaine was giving him as he walked away...

 

Blaine was up early the next morning, as he is every morning, chopping wood. His sleeves were rolled up as far as they could go and beads of sweat kept rolling down his forehead and down his face. It was a very exhausting chore, but it had to be done.

Kurt came walking around the heap of wood with two large empty buckets in hand.

"Farm boy," Kurt said, "Fill these with water."

Blaine ceased his work and just stared at him. His dark curls fell near his eyes. Eyes that had that same look in them as before...

"Please." Kurt added, trying so hard to read the farm boy's face.

"As you wish."

Kurt walked back to the house, but turned to look back at Blaine.

Blaine was giving him a long, lingering look.

Then it finally hit Kurt.

That day, Kurt was amazed to discover that when Blaine was saying 'as you wish', what he meant was 'I love you'.

And even more amazing was the day Kurt realized he truly loved him back.

He had finally found a more superior feeling than riding his horse, wind whipping by his face.

Surely, it was love.

On that day of realization, Kurt was preparing a meal. The farm boy came into the house with an arm full of firewood. He set down the wood, not knowing that it was now Kurt giving him a long, lingering look. Blaine was about to leave when Kurt piped up.

"Farm boy."

Blaine paused in the doorway, looking back at the other boy. Kurt didn't know what else to say. He looked around the room for something. Anything to hear the one he loved say those three glorious words.

"Fetch me that pitcher?" he finally asked, even though it was easily within his own reach.

Blaine, ever so slowly, walked towards Kurt and the pitcher. Even as the farm boy reached for the pitcher, their eyes never broke contact. Blaine offered Kurt the item and said in a mere whisper,

"As you wish."

Kurt's small smile grew to a grin. He was now very familiar with that moment when you say to yourself, 'oh, there you are'.

 

The young men discussed their futures together. Of many things, they discussed marriage. But there was a problem with that particular topic...

Blaine had no money for marriage. So he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea. It was a very emotional time for Kurt.

Blaine said goodbye to Kurt at the doorstep of the farmhouse. He had only walked about ten steps, when two arms suddenly wrapped around Blaine's waist.

"Sweetie, what is it?" Blaine's voice filled with concern.

"I fear I'll never see you again," Kurt confessed. Blaine held his darling in his arms, to comfort him.

"Of course you will," reassured Blaine.

"But what if something happens to you?" The noticeable shakiness in Kurt's voice pained Blaine's heart. He stared into Kurt's eyes, hoping that Kurt could read in his eyes what he felt in his heart.

"Hear this now. I will always come for you."

"But how can you be sure?"

"This is true love. You think this happens everyday?" Blaine said with a smile of utter certainty. His smile was contagious, as his love was smiling back at him. Kurt was convinced. The two shared a passionate kiss goodbye before Blaine departed. He swung his bag over his shoulder and set off down the country road. Yes, Kurt thought, my dearest love will come for me...

Blaine didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Puck, who never left captives alive. When Kurt got the news that Blaine was murdered, he went into his room and shut the door. For days, he neither slept nor ate.

"I will never love again."


	2. Chapter 2

_Now this did happen once upon a time,_  
 _When things were not so complex..._

 

Five years later, the main square of Lima City was filled as never before, to hear the announcement of the great Prince Karofsky's husband to be.

Trumpets sounded, making known that their Prince was ready to tell of the grand news.

"My people," Prince Karofsky called out to the public. He was looking down on them from a tower that overlooked the main square. "A month from now, our country will have its five hundredth anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a man who was once a commoner like yourselves. But perhaps you will not find him common now. Would you like to meet him?"

"Yes!" The townspeople shouted collectively, in support of seeing their other future king.

"My people, the prince, Kurt!"

Again the trumpets sounded, while Kurt made his way down a red velvet carpet. He looked absolutely dashing.

The subjects of Lima kneeled before him. They were in complete awe of Kurt's beauty. One would expect someone in Kurt's position to be beaming with pride. But he did not care to become a prince. This was all truly meaningless to Kurt.

Kurt's emptiness consumed him. Although the law of the land gave Karofsky the right to choose his husband, Kurt did not love him.

Despite Karofsky's reassurance that he would grow to love him, the only joy he found was in his daily ride.

He would ride his horse far, far away from the castle and anything to do with Karofsky and his royal family. Then, and only then, was when his mind was the clearest.

Kurt and his steed were nearing their beloved and charming spot by the river where they would purely think and ponder and just be.

But he noticed there were strangers occupying his area. Three of them. One was a young Asian man who had his hand glued to his sword. The other was a tall, large lipped, blonde fellow with muscles to certainly be reckoned with. Finally, was a skinny, and terribly attractive young man. He had brown hair and greenish-hazel eyes that seemed to hold an aura of mischief.

"A word, good sir?" asked the attractive, mischievous one."We are but poor, lost choir boys. Is there a village nearby?'

"There is nothing nearby. Not for miles," Kurt politely informed him.

"Then there will be no one to here you scream."

The trouty-mouthed boy made his way up to Kurt and his horse. Kurt was about to scream, when the blonde stranger squeezed a place on his neck that rendered him unconscious.

"What is that you're ripping?" asked the Asian boy from the crew's small ship, docked by the river.

"It's fabric from the uniform of an army officer of Westerville," said the mischievous-looking leader of the group. He tied the ripped piece of fabric onto the saddle of Kurt's horse.

"Who's Westerville?" asked the blonde boy, carrying the currently unconscious body that was Kurt, onto the ship.

"The country across the sea! The sworn enemy of Lima!" It was like talking to a couple of morons. "Go!" he shouted at the horse, which then rapidly galloped away. "Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Westervillians have abducted his love. When he finds his body dead on the Westerville frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed." He seemed so proud of his evil scheme. His smile curled at the thought of his master plan.

"You never said anything about killing anyone..." mentioned the trouty blonde.

"I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition." the mischievous one replied simply.

"I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent boy."

"Am I going mad? Or did the word think escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass."

"I agree with Sam," the Asian boy chimed.

"Well, the sot has spoken! What happens to him is not truly your concern. I will kill him. And remember this: NEVER forget this! When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy brandy! And YOU," he continued, addressing Sam, the blonde. "Friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless. Do you want me to send you back to where you were? An unemployed stripper? In Kentucky?"

Over these few weeks of being a crew, the Asian boy, known as Mike, and Sam had grown to be quite good friends. It was never fair that their leader was constantly yelling at them. Mike had learned the secret to cheering Sam up when times got rough. A good 'ol rhyming game to ease the tension.

"That Sebastian, he can fuss," said Mike.

"Fuss...fuss...think he like to scream at us," responded Sam.

"Probably he means no harm."

"He's really really short on...charm"

"You've a great gift for rhyme."

"Yes, yes, some of the time."

"Enough of that!" yelled Sebastian, annoyed already.

"Sam, are there rocks ahead?"

"If there are, we'll all be dead!"

"No more rhymes now, I mean it!" demanded their leader.

"Anybody want a peanut?"

"Argh!"


	3. Chapter 3

_His love was stronger than the power so dark,_   
_A prince could have within his keeping..._

 

The boat of miscreants and the prince sailed on through the night. The moonlight reflecting off the dangerous waters was their only source of light.

The four had been quiet for a while now, not quite knowing what to say.

"We'll reach the cliffs by dawn," Sebastian mentioned, according to his calculations.

Sebastian noticed Mike glancing back behind their boat.

"Why are you doing that?" Sebastian asked with an irritated tone.

"Making sure no one is following us," Mike replied.

"That would be inconceivable," Sebastian told him. He had absolutely nothing to fear.

"Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the Prince will see you all hanged," said Kurt. Even though he very much disliked Karofsky, Kurt knew the Prince would come to his rescue. He was not worried. Well, maybe a little.

"Of all the necks on this boat Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own," threatened Sebastian. Kurt couldn't help but wonder if this guy was just all talk. Regardless, he didn't press on the subject any longer.

Mike's glances were becoming more frequent and, to Sebastian, more annoying.

"Stop doing that. We can all relax, it's almost over."

"You're sure no one would follow us?"

"As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Westerville knows what we've done, and no one in Lima could have gotten here so fast... Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

"No reason. Suddenly, I just happen to look behind us and something is there."

"What?!" Sebastian shot up like a lightning bolt and ran to get a better look.

Mike was correct.

A boat similar to there own was following them.

"Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night," reasoned Sebastian, "Through eel infested waters..."

Then all they heard was a big SPLASH.

Kurt had thrown himself overboard. He seriously had to get away from these lunatics. And if there was someone coming to rescue him in that mysterious boat, he would swim to them, even if it killed him.

"Go in! Get after him!" Sebastian ordered his crew.

"I don't swim," said Mike.

"I only dog-paddle," Sam told him.

"Gahhhh!" Sebastian had had just about enough of these idiots. Did he have to do everything himself? That's why he hired lackeys in the first place. "Veer left! Left! Left!" Sebastian and Sam rushed to the side of the boat trying to spot Kurt in the water. They needed Kurt if this plan was going to work.

Kurt swam for his life. He swam faster and faster, but then stopped. He heard something. A strange and unnerving kind of shriek he'd never heard before. Kurt looked around for where it could have came from...

"You know what that sound is Highness?" Sebastian called out to him. "Those are the shrieking eels. If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh."

The moment he said 'human flesh', the biggest and scariest looking creature swam inches in front of Kurt. He gasped loudly. A shrieking eel.

It was hideous and frighting to look at. Though it only had slits for eyes, shrieking eels can smell its prey unbelievably well. Its teeth were sharp as knives and without hesitation, would rip him to shreds.

"You swim back now, I promise no harm will come to you. I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels."

Then, Kurt froze at the sight of it:

One of the the shrieking eels was charging him.

It felt like everything was happening in slow motion. He was seconds before death, witnessing his life flash before his eyes, and a vision of his lost love, Blaine graced his memory.

I'll be with you soon, farm boy, thought Kurt as he braced himself for his impending death.

Kurt's eyes were closed, but all he heard was a CLUNK.

It seemed that Sam had bopped the eel on the head and lifted Kurt up into the boat to safety.

"Put him down. Just put him down!" Sebastian commanded.

Kurt could not believe he was still alive.

"I think he's getting closer," Mike mused, referring to the strange boat that was gaining behind them.

"He's no concern of ours. Sail on!" Sebastian ordered. "I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?" Now speaking to Kurt, clearly miffed by this whole predicament.

"Only compared to some," Kurt replied, still a little frightened and out of breath.

It was now becoming morning, as the sky turned orange. The wind was giving off a refreshing breeze and the waves were pulling the crew closer to their destination.

"Look! He's right on top of us!" called Mike, controlling the mast. "I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using."

"Whoever he is, he's too late!" shouted Sebastian, pointing at a massive cliff. "See! The Cliffs of Insanity! Hurry up. Move the thing. And that other thing! Move it!" he gestured to random parts of the boat, obviously not knowing their function.

The boat pulled up next to the insanely large cliff. The mysterious boat that was following them was still hot on their trail.

"We're safe," said Sebastian. "Only Sam is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours 'til he finds a harbour."

Kurt noticed the impossibly long rope that hung from the cliff. How convenient...he thought to himself.

Mike helped Sam put on a special vest that had three harnesses attached to it. Then he made sure Kurt, Sebastian and himself were securely fastened to it. Kurt looked up. That is one daunting cliff, he thought. Sam started to climb the rope. His strength was certainly incredible, but one slip up? Death for sure. Kurt shut his eyes tight and held onto Sam for dear life.

Meanwhile, the mysterious boat was pulling up next to the insanely large cliff, just as the crew had done before. Stepping off of the boat was a man dressed in navy blue. A mask covered his honey coloured eyes.

The man in navy immediately started climbing the rope.

"He's climbing the rope," Mike said looking down. "And he's gaining on us."

"Inconceivable," Sebastian remarked. Who was this masked stranger? Why was he so dead set on catching up to them? "Faster!"

"I thought I was going faster," said Sam.

"You were supposed to be this colossus. You were this great, legendary thing, and yet he gains."

"Well, I'm carrying three people. And he got only himself."

"I do not accept excuses. I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all."

"Don't say that, Sebastian. Please."

The man in navy was very close behind them. A nervous Sebastian was quick to notice.

"Did I make it clear your job is at stake?"

Finally, they had reached the top of the Cliffs of Insanity. The moment Sebastian touched the ground, he ran to the rock that the thick rope was tied around. Desperately, he began to cut the rope with his knife. And then- the last strand broke.

The last of the rope slid over the side of the cliff.

Surely the stranger had dropped to his death.

Mike and Sam leaned over the edge only to find that the man in navy was still hanging on to the cliff!

"He's got very good arms," observed Sam.

"He didn't fall?" asked a very irritated Sebastian. "Inconceivable!"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means," said Mike. "My God. He's climbing."

"Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the prince and must therefore, die. You, carry him. We'll head straight for the Westerville frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword."

"I'm going to do him left handed."

"You know what a hurry we're in!"

"It's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right, over too quickly."

"Oh, have it you're way."

Sam patted Mike on the shoulder. "You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted." He wondered if he would see his friend again. Yes, of course he would, he thought. Many people, including Sam himself, have seen that when Mike fences, it's like he is dancing. A dance of death.

"I'm WAITING." shouted Sebastian impatiently.

Sam took Kurt's arm and caught up with Sebastian. Mike was left waiting for the stranger to climb up over the cliff. He leaned over the cliff to see what was taking him so long.

"Hello, there," he said, giving a wave. "Slow going?"

"Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me," replied the man in navy.

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

Mike pulled out his sword and began practicing a couple moves. Soon, he grew impatient. He wanted to test out his new opponent. Mike went back and leaned over the cliff again.

"I do not suppose you could speed things up?" he asked.

"If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch or find something useful to do," the man in navy told him.

"I will do that. I have some rope up here, but I don't think you would accept my help since I am only waiting around to kill you. "

"That does put a damper on our relationship."

"But, I promise not to kill you until you reach the top."

"That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait."

"I hate waiting. I could give you my word as an Asian."

"No good. I've known too many Asians."

"Is there anyway you'll trust me?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"I swear on the soul of my father, Michael Chang Sr., you will reach the top alive."

The man in navy could see the truth in Mike's eyes.

"Throw me the rope."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please forgive me for waiting this long to post a new chapter *gets down on a knee and offers flowers and chocolates*. I promise you it won’t be a year for the next chapter!

_And how he loved him oh so much,_

_and all the charms he did possess..._

*

Mike let down the rope and began helping the man in navy up from the Cliffs of Insanity. Within a few minutes, the mystery man reached the ledge and joined Mike on solid ground.

“Thank you,” said the man in navy.

“Wait. Wait until you're ready,” Mike told him. He climbed all that way while I let Sam carry me. It's only fair to him, thought Mike.

“Again, thank you.” The man in navy sat down on the rocky terrain across from Mike. He had had the troublesome feeling of pebbles in his boots for nearly half the climb up. He removed his navy boot, turning it upside down and let several small rocks fall out.

A nagging question bothered Mike. He had asked this question about a hundred times. Probably more. He couldn't help but ask the man in navy. It was like a reflex.

“I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?”

“Do you always begin conversations this way?” the man in navy questioned back. He could definitely say he has never heard that one before.

“My father was slaughtered by a six fingered man...”

The man in navy couldn't help but feel something for this poor swordsman. He held up his right hand. Five fingers. Mike knew it was a long shot.

“He was a great sword maker, my father. When the six fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done.” Mike held out his sword to the man in navy. He took hold of it, admiring the details. It was flawlessly made. There were beautiful hand crafted diamonds sat within the gold of the handle. The sword was glistening in the morning sunlight.

“I've never seen its equal,” said the man in navy, handing Mike back his weapon.

“The six fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six fingered man slashed him through the heart. I love my father. So naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. Six fingered man left me alive. But he gave me these,” Mike pointed to the symmetrically made scars on both cheeks.

“How old were you?”

“I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six fingered man and say 'Hello. My name is Mike Chang. You killed my father. Prepare to die'.” Mike's words were calm, yet full of passion. When he talked of his father and his past, Mike seemed to be in another world entirely.

“You've done nothing but study sword play.”

“More persue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years and I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Sebastian to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.”

“Well, I certainly hope you find him someday.” The man in navy stood up from his seat on the rocks. This conversation couldn’t go on forever. After all, he had a mission to fulfill.

“You're ready then?”

“Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.”

“You seem a decent fellow,” Mike said with a smile and unsheathed his trusty sword. “I have to kill you.”

“You seem a decent fellow. I'd hate to die.” Whoever this mysterious masked man was, he certainly was polite. Mike truly did feel sorry to have to kill him. But boy, did he look forward to a battle. He had a great feeling about this one.

“Begin.”

Their swords clashed, creating the clanging sound that Mike lived for. Mike swiped close to the man’s face, but missed - the masked man had dodged too swiftly. They prowled around each other only to have the man copy Mike’s exact move. Luckily, Mike was quick enough to read his movements and escaped the counter attack. The steel clang echoed across the mountain on which they fought. Both men appeared equally matched.

“You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, eh?” Mike called out. Of course, he knew every technique or move known to the art of fencing.

“I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain,” the man merely replied.

“Naturally, you must suspect me to attack with Capa Ferro.”

“Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capa Ferro. Don't you?” His voice sounded calm and collected. The man gave off no hint of struggle or tiredness.

“Unless the enemy hasn't studied Agrippa, which I have.” Their battle that had started near the cliff’s edge had now progressed to the far side of the mountain. Closer to the path that lead beyond.

“You are wonderful,” Mike couldn’t help but compliment. He hadn’t fought a battle like this in a long time. It was remarkable and rather refreshing.

“Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.”

“I admit it. You are better than I am.” The man had claimed the upper-hand and now forced Mike back to the cliff’s edge.

“Then why are you smiling?” asked the man, rather confused.

“Because I know something you don't know.”

“And what is that?”

“I am not left handed.” Mike effortlessly switched his sword to his right hand, his dominant hand. Immediately, he had turned the tables on the masked man, now forcing him towards the cliff. Nothing like the element of surprise against the enemy.

“You are amazing,” admired the man.

“I ought to be after twenty years.”

“There's something I ought to tell you.” He stood so close to the edge, Mike thought it inevitable that this was the masked man’s end. Might as well hear his final words.

“Tell me.”

“I'm not left handed either.”

At that, the man’s own sword swapped hands at lightning speed and fought his way away from the ledge. Mike stopped out of astoundment to ask, “Who are you?”

“No one of consequence,” the man replied with a cheeky smile.

“I must know.”

“Get used to disappointment.”

This stranger proved to be an excellent opponent, but now Mike had to finish him off for good. With one last attempt, he gave it everything he could muster from inside him and swung with desperation. It was no use. The man in navy ripped Mike’s sword away from him with his own. It was over. He had lost.

“Kill me quickly,” Mike pleaded and fell to his knees. He had no desire to suffer. He had suffered enough in his lifetime.

The man circled Mike as if he was his prey, but his words remained calm and courteous. “I would soon destroy a stained glass window as artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either,” The man struck Mike’s head with the butt of his sword and hit the ground hard.

“Please understand I hold you in the highest respect,” the man said to Mike’s unconscious body. He then ran across the rocky terrain to the path down the mountain.

*

“Inconceivable!” Sebastian cried. There he was, the man in navy running down the mountain. How could he have beaten the best swordsman in the country? “Give the prince to me,” he told Sam. “Catch up with us quickly.”

“What do I do?” asked Sam.

“Finish him. Finish him your way!”

“Oh good, my way. Thank you Sebastian... Which one’s my way?”

“Pick up one of those rocks, get behind the boulder, in a few minutes the man in navy will come running around the bend. The minute his _head_ is in view, HIT IT WITH THE ROCK!”

“My way's not very sportsmanlike...” Sam pondered to himself. He picked up the closest rock that could do some very nice damage to someone’s head and retreated behind the only boulder in sight that might be able to hide a guy his size. He waited some time before he heard rapid footsteps approaching. Sam waited until the perfect moment to chuck the rock at the man. The rock just missed the man’s head and left him startled.

“I did that on purpose. I didn't have to miss,” Sam confessed and armed himself with another rock.

“I believe you,” said the man carefully. “So what happens now?”

“We face each other as God intended: sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons. Skill against skill alone.” Sam always faced his opponents this way. It seems fair, until most of his opponents try and cheat against him with tricks and weapons. However, Sam is bigger and stronger than most so he ends up winning anyway.

“You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?”

Sam raised the rock in his hand. “I could kill you now.”

The man carefully put down his sword and sized up his competition. How on Earth could someone take down someone this big? “Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.”

“It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.” Sam tossed the rock away. He wouldn’t need it anyway. This guy looked like a tiny blue bug. He’d be squashed in seconds.

They stood there sizing each other up for a few moments until the man in navy decided to make the first move. He lunged at Sam, wrapped his hands around him. He tried to move him with all his might, but with no avail. He acted like a brick wall to the man and just stood there.

“Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?” The man asked with annoyance in his voice. He let go of Sam.

“I just want you to feel you are doing well.” Sam came towards the man, ready to attack but the masked stranger ducked and rolled out of his way.

“You're quick,” Sam remarked.

“Good thing, too.”

“Why are you wearing a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that?” Sam began throwing punches with great force. Although the man in navy was far too good at evading them.

“Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.” Before Sam had the ability to process it, the stranger jumped onto his back and gripped his throat. Sam found it terribly hard to breathe and needed a way get the man off him. So he backed up and rammed the man onto a rock wall several times. No matter how hard he tried, Sam could not rid himself of the masked man. He grew terribly light headed and before long, the last thing he felt was hitting the ground hard.

The man rolled over Sam’s body and checked to see if his heart still beated in his chest. Yes, the heart still thumped.

“I do not envy you the headache you'll have when you awake,” the man said to Sam’s unconscious body. “But in the meantime, rest well... and dream of large women.” He grabbed his sword and flew along the grassy path, ready for what crazy obstacle might lay next.

*

Prince Karofsky examined the footprints made in the rocky terrain at the top of the Cliffs of Insanity. He happened to be an excellent hunter (of not only beast, but man as well).

“There was a mighty duel,” he announced. “Ranged all over. They were both masters.”

“Who won?” inquired Karofsky’s right hand man, Azimio. “How did it end?”

“The loser ran off alone, and the winner followed those footprints towards Westerville.”

“Shall we trap them both?”

“The loser is nothing. Only the Prince matters. Clearly this was all planned by warriors of Westerville,” Karofsky told his men. “We must all be ready for whatever lies ahead.” He mounted his horse with grace.

“Could this be a trap?” Azimio questioned his Prince.

“I always think everything could be a trap, which is why I'm still alive.”


	5. Chapter 5

_His spells to weave and steal a heart,_

_Within his breast but only sleeping…_

*

The sun beat down on the man in navy who ran with great purpose. It was only once he saw a peculiar sight ahead of him that made him slow to a halt.

There sat Sebastian behind a rock dressed as a dining table: tablecloth, goblets, and bread included.

And beside him sat a statue-like, blindfolded and bound Prince Kurt with a dagger to his neck.

“So, it is down to you and it is down to me,” Sebastian said smugly. The masked man took a few steps forward to Kurt and his captor.

“If you wish him dead, by all means keep moving forward.”

“Let me explain,” the stranger tried.

“There’s nothing to explain. You’re trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen.” He gestured to Kurt.

“Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?” asked the man, slowly inching forward.

“There will be no arrangement,” Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s arm and pressed the dagger even more into his neck, “And you’re killing him.” Kurt made a sharp inhale, feeling the blade poking him more so. The man stopped moving, not wanting harm to come to the Prince.

“But if there can be no arrangement then we are at an impasse.”

“I’m afraid so,” agreed Sebastian. “I can’t compete with you physically and you’re no match for my brains.”

“You’re that smart?” questioned the man with an amused smile on his lips.

“Let me put it this way. Ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?”

“Yes.”

“Morons,” Sebastian put simply. He certainly thought highly of himself.

“Really?” Surely, this Sebastian was bluffing. Or maybe he truly believed these delusions, the masked stranger thought. “In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.”

“For the Prince?”

The man in navy gave a nod.

“To the death?”

Another nod.

“I accept,” Sebastian told him. He was pleased that he would be able to show off the extent of his knowledge. Maybe he’d impress his pretty hostage on top of it all.

“Good, then pour the wine,” instructed the man and sat down across from the criminal. Sebastian poured the wine into the two goblets. The man in navy revealed a vial from his pocket and handed it to Sebastian.

“Inhale this but do not touch.”

“I smell nothing,” said Sebastian rather unimpressed. He handed the vile back.

“What you do not smell is called Iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.”

Sebastian made a noise to express his boredom of this knowledge. The man in navy grabbed the goblets off the makeshift table and held eye contact with Sebastian. He then turned his back to him and secretly poured in the powdery substance. Once finished, the man placed a goblet in front of Sebastian and one in front of himself.

“Alright, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun,” declared the man. “It ends when you decide and we both drink and find out who is right and who is dead.”

“But it’s so simple,” said Sebastian. “All I have to do is devise from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he is given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool. You would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”

“You’ve made your decision then?” asked the man, trying not to appear annoyed. What was this guy’s problem? Was he on something?

“Not remotely. Because Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals and criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.”

“Truly, you have a dizzying intellect,” the man in navy said while attempting to sound intrigued by his insane responses to this supposed battle of wits.

“Wait ‘til I get going!” Sebastian cried. “Where was I?”

“Australia,” offered the man.

“Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected that I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”

The masked man decided to call him out. “You’re just stalling now.”

“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong, so you could have put the poison into your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you’ve also bested my Asian, which means you must have studied and in studying you’ve learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”

“You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.” The man in navy said this with no doubt in his voice. There was no possible way Sebastian would figure out this puzzling situation.

“It has worked! You’ve given everything away; I know where the poison is!”

“Then make your choice.”

“I will! And I choose-“ Sebastian pointed behind the man. “What in the world can that be?”

The man turned around. Sebastian took this opportunity to snatch the man’s goblet and take it as his own. He made the switch just before he turned around.

“What? Where?” I don’t see anything,” the man in navy said, confused.

“Oh, well, I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.” Sebastian quietly began chuckling to himself, clearly unable to hold any of it in. It did not go unnoticed.

“What’s so funny?” the man asked suspiciously.

“I’ll tell you in a minute. First, let’s drink. Me from my glass and you from yours.”

So they did, draining their goblets to the last drop. “You guessed wrong,” the man told Sebastian.

“You only think I guessed wrong, that’s what’s so funny. I switched glasses when your back was turned! Haha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders: The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Westervillian when death is on the line!” Sebastian let out an enormous and uncontrollable laugh. The man in navy just stared at him, waiting. Suddenly, the laughter ended and Sebastian toppled over and hit the ground. At least he died happy…

The man in navy gave the body a disgusted look and proceeded to untie and lift the blindfold off Kurt.

“Who are you?” Kurt asked him, very confused upon looking at his masked savior…or new captor?

“I’m no one to be trifled with,” he told Kurt, looking straight into his eyes only to look away shortly after. “That is all you ever need knowing.”

“To think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned…” The man in navy whisked Kurt up to stand with him.

“They were both poisoned,” he grinned. “I spent the last few years building up an immunity to Iocane powder.” The man held tight to Kurt’s hand and led him along the path that lay parallel to the valley. Kurt noticed the grip wasn’t tight in the sense that the new captor wished to hurt him. It was something else entirely…

*

Prince Karofsky stooped down to examine the dirt below him. The imprint left there was massive.

“Someone has beaten a giant,” he confirmed. “There will be great suffering in Westerville if Kurt dies.” He then leapt onto his steed and led his band of guards with haste.

*

It felt like they had been running for hours on end. This masked man in navy definitely had excellent stamina.

“Catch your breath,” he ordered Kurt, throwing him to rest against a rock. Kurt was terribly out of breath, but he managed to say,

“If you’ll release me, whatever you ask for ransom, you’ll get it. I promise you.”

The man just laughed at his words. “And what is that worth? The promise of a boy? You’re very funny, Highness.”

“I was giving you a chance. It does not matter where you take me. There’s no greater hunter than Prince Karofsky. He can track a falcon on a cloudy day, he can find you.”

“You think your dearest love will save you?” the man teased.

“I never said he was my dearest love!” Kurt voiced. “And yes, he will save me. That I know.”

“You admit to me you do not love your fiancé,” the man inched closer to Kurt, sounding curious at the news.

“He knows I do not love him.”

“Incapable of love, is what you mean.”

Kurt stood up to meet the man’s eyes. “I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream!”

The man in navy’s hand went up as if to strike and Kurt prepared for agony. But nothing came. Instead, he lowered his hand.

“That was a warning, Highness. The next time my hand flies on its own, where I come from there are penalties when a boy lies.” He grabbed Kurt’s hand again and they started to run again.

*

“Iocane,” Karofsky said after sniffing a vile that lay on the ground by a makeshift rock table. “I’d bet my life on it. And there are the Prince’s footprints,” he pointed out. They appeared to be heading in the direction of the valley.

“He is alive or was an hour ago. If he is otherwise when I find him, I shall be very put out.”

*

The man threw Kurt down again. Kurt felt rather annoyed that he was being treated like a sack of potatoes.

“Rest, Highness.”

“I know who you are. Your cruelty reveals everything,” said Kurt. “You’re the Dread Pirate Puck, admit it!”

The man bowed and smiled coyly. “With pride. What can I do for you?”

“You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces,” Kurt said bitterly.

“Hardly complementary, Your Highness,” the man tutted. “Why lose your venom on me?”

“You killed my love.”

“It’s possible. I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours?” questioned the man. “Another prince like this one? Ugly, rich, and scabby?”

“No!” Kurt said, disgusted. “A farm boy. Poor. Poor and perfect. Eyes like a river of flowing golden honey…” he trailed off and became lost in his memories. They all flashed before his eyes as if it all happened yesterday. Then he snapped back to cruel reality. “On the high seas your ship attacked and the Dread Pirate Puck never takes prisoners.”

“I can’t afford to make exceptions. I mean, once word leaks out that I’ve gone soft people begin to disobey you and it’s nothing but work, work, work all the time.”

“You mock my pain!”

“Life is pain, Highness!” the man said back. “Anyone who says differently is selling something.” Kurt looked away from this terrible masked stranger. He couldn’t bare to look at him any longer.

“I remember this farm boy of yours, I think. This would be what, five years ago? Does it bother you to hear?”

“Nothing you can say would upset me,” Kurt told him gloomily.

“He died well, that should please you,” the man recalled. “No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, ‘Please. Please I need to live’. It was the ‘please’ that caught my memory. I asked what was so important for him here. ‘True love’ he replied. And then he spoke of a boy of surpassing beauty and faithfulness, I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are.”

“And what am I?” Kurt demanded, now looking at the man dead in the eyes again.

“Faithfulness he talked of, sir. Your enduring faithfulness!” the man said angrily. “Now tell me truly, when you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your Prince at the same hour or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?”

“You mocked me once, never do it again!” yelled Kurt in his face. “I died that day!”

The man turned around to look up at the top of the hill. It was surely Prince Karofsky and his men. They were closing in.

“And you can die too, for all I care!” Before the man new it, Kurt had pushed him down the steep valley hill below them. He tumbled hard. But then Kurt heard the man utter the three of the most beautiful words.

“Aaaaaasssss yooouuuuuu wiiiiiiissssssshhhhh”

“Oh, my sweet Blaine,” Kurt whispered to himself. “What have I done?” Without thinking, Kurt leapt and tumbled down the huge hill after Blaine, the man in navy.

*

“They’ve disappeared,” Karofsky noticed. “They must have seen us closing in. Unless I’m wrong and I’m never wrong, they’re headed directly into the Fire Swamp.” The prince and his men made their way along the top of the valley. Prince Karofsky had a plan.


	6. Chapter 6

_And how he worshiped the ground he walked,_

_And when he looked in his eyes, he became obsessed…_

 

Kurt’s long and seemingly endless tumble down the grassy ravine hurt like hell, to say the least. But none of the pain he felt mattered to him because a lifetime without his Blaine would surely hurt even more.

They both laid flat at the ravine floor and turned their heads to face each other. Kurt froze still unable to believe his love was well and alive beside him. Blaine hastily crawled over to Kurt and wrapped his one arm around his waist, another to comfort his head.

“Can you move at all?” Blaine asked sweetly, never letting his gaze leave Kurt’s eyes.

“Move?” Kurt said breathlessly. “You’re alive. If you want I can fly.” The two embraced, feeling so many emotions at once built up over the five years spent apart. It all felt like a miracle.

Blaine placed a hand to Kurt’s cheek, still gazing.

“I told you I would always come for you,” Blaine said. “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

“Well, you were dead,” Kurt replied. Blaine shook his head.

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”

“I will never doubt again,” promised Kurt.

“There will never be a need,” Blaine promised in return. And they sealed the promise with a passionate kiss.

After a few moments of taking in everything properly, Blaine promptly rose to his feet and offered a hand to his beloved.

It was time to run.

Blaine and Kurt raced along the ravine floor. They heard horses from above easing their way closer to the runaways. Blaine noticed and pointed.

“Ha! Your pig fiancé is too late. A few more steps and we’ll be safe in the Fire Swamp.” He grabbed Kurt’s hand and ran with him in tow.

“We’ll never survive,” Kurt said worriedly.

“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”

The Fire Swamp may have looked like safe hideaway from outside but the second they set foot inside, it was true horror. It reeked of terror and danger. Giant roots and vines stuck out everywhere, causing inconvenience of near total darkness. And the noises that they heard? Let’s just say something sounded _starving._

“It’s not that bad,” Blaine admitted. Kurt gave him an incredulous look.

“I’m not saying I want to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.” Kurt could not believe how little Blaine had changed. It was an honest relief, however.

The two made their way along an old faded trail that had been long since used. There was a strange noise coming from underneath them; a sort of popping sound.

Out of nowhere a spout of fire erupted from the ground and caught Kurt’s clothing on fire. He gave a scream and began to panic.

Blaine took control and sat Kurt down. He expertly rid the flames from his clothes in expert timing.

What a hero.

He then helped Kurt up, the smallest of smiles inching on his face.

“Well now, that was an adventure. Singed a bit were you?”

“No. You?”

Blaine shook his head.

They started off again, only to hear the popping sound once more. But they were ready.

Blaine grabbed hold of Kurt’s waist and lifted him over and away from the noise and fire pit. The flames erupted where Kurt had been standing. That was close.

“One thing I will say. The Fire Swamp certainly does keep you on your toes,” Blaine remarked. The route ahead looked ferociously thick of vines, so he unleashed his trusty sword and began to slice their way through.

“This will a soon be but a happy memory,” said Blaine. “Puck’s ship “Revenge” sailed to the far ends and I am, as you know, Puck.”

“But how’s that possible? Since he’s been marauding twenty years and you only left me five years ago?” inquired Kurt.

“I myself am often surprised at life’s little quirks.” There was the popping sound. Blaine planted his sword into the ground and swiftly whisked Kurt away from the firing pit. They were professionals at avoiding the fire by this point. They carried on through the vines.

“See when I told you before about saying ‘please’ it was true. It intrigued Puck, as did my description of your beauty. Finally Puck decided something. He said, ‘All right, Blaine. Never had a valet, you can try for tonight. I’m most like to kill you in the morning.’ Three years he said that! ‘Goodnight, Blaine. Good work. Sleep well. I’m most like to kill you in the morning.’ It was a fine time for me, I was learning to fence, fight, anything anyone would teach me. Puck and I eventually became friends. And then it happened...”

“What? Go on,” Kurt insisted.

“Puck grew so rich he wanted to retire. So he took me to his cabin and told me a secret. ‘I am not the Dread Pirate Puck,’ he said. ‘My name is Ryan. I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Puck, just as you inherited from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Puck either. His name was Cumberbund. The real Puck has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia. Then he explained the name was the important thing in inspiring the necessary fear. You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Blaine! So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew and he stayed aboard for a while as first mate all the time calling me Puck. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I had been Puck ever since. Except now we’re together, I shall retire and hand the name over to someone else. Is everything clear to you?”

Kurt nodded. It was a lot to take in, but it certainly was all clear now. Kurt took one step forward and was suddenly sucked down into a quicksand hole! It happened so fast Blaine didn’t believe what he just witnessed. But fortunately he snapped into action, finding a hanging vine just long enough. He held tight to the vine and prayed it would hold. He took in a big breath. Then, he dove after Kurt.

It seemed almost impossible to feel around beneath the sand (let alone see), but alas Blaine felt Kurt’s body and grabbed him tight. With all his strength, Blaine pulled them both up and out of the quicksand. They gasped and coughed, desperate for the muggy air. They were safe… for now. Blaine held Kurt tight, fearing he’d lose him again.

“We’ll never succeed,” Kurt cried. “We may as well die _here_.”

“No, no. We’ve already succeeded,” Blaine assured him. He managed to also translate what he said with his golden eyes. “I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One: the flames spurt. No problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each - we can avoid that easy. Two: the lightning sand which you were clever enough to discover and in the future we can avoid that too.”

“Blaine, what about the ROUSs?”

“Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist-”

Naturally with the luck they’ve been having, one of said “ROUSs” jumped and viciously attacked Blaine knocking him to the ground. He struggled under the beast trying to push it off of him. Blaine then felt its sharp fangs dig into his arm. He let out a yell. Kurt didn’t know what to do and was frozen in fear watching his love become prey to such an animal. The massive rodent sunk its bloody fangs into Blaine’s shoulder and began to naw. Blaine saw an opportunity and struck the rodent in the head. It became momentarily disoriented but the beast was quick and merciless in its next attack. Blaine was mere inches from its bloody mouth, which was attempting to swallow him but Blaine managed to throw the rodent over onto its back. It scrambled to its feet and instead of attacking Blaine once more, made a b-line for Kurt.

“Blaine!”

Blaine tackled the gross rodent but it was still far too strong. It started to rip at Kurt’s clothing. Kurt tried to defend himself with a club and hit it on the head repeatedly. Nothing seemed to deter the monster from its prey.

But there was that popping noise again and Blaine had an idea.

He latched onto the ROUS and rolled with it closer to the popping noise. At the perfect moment a flame spurted from the ground and caught the rodent on fire. It moaned in torturous pain. Blaine reached for his sword that lay on the Swamp’s dirty ground and stabbed the terrible thing three times in the stomach area. It was done.

Blaine looked to Kurt to see if he was all right. Kurt looked back at him unbelieving at what they had just gone through. Both they’re appearances were complete messes, but it didn’t seem to matter in the least.

At last Kurt and Blaine found the exit to the Fire Swamp. It was a beautiful sight to behold and they felt blessed to be seeing the daylight again.

“We did it,” Kurt said and grabbed Blaine’s hands.

“Now, was that so terrible?” Blaine leaned in to kiss his Prince but was interrupted by the sounds of horses galloping.

It was Prince Karofsky and his men.

Blaine moved Kurt behind him put up his sword in a defensive manner.

“Surrender,” Karofsky put simply.

“You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept,” Blaine called back.

“I give you full marks for bravery, don’t make yourself a fool.”

“Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the Fire Swamp. We can live happily there for quite sometime so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.”

Kurt turned and saw three men lurking behind trees with crossbows aimed and ready to shoot.

“I’ll tell you once again. Surrender,” Karofsky threatened.

“Will not happen,” protested Blaine.

“For the last time, Surrender!”

“Death first!”

Kurt panicked and yelled,

“Will you promise not to hurt him?”

“What was that?” Karofsky said confusedly.

“What was that?” Blaine said equally puzzled.

“If we surrender, and I return with you, will you promise not to hurt this man?” Kurt asked solemnly.

“May I live a thousand years and never hunt again,” Karofsky replied.

“He is a sailor on the pirate ship ‘Revenge’. Promise to return him to his ship!”

“I swear it will be done,” promised the Prince, only soon after whispering to his right hand man Azimio.“Once we’re out of sight, take him back to Lima and throw him in the Pit of Despair.”

“I swear it will be done,” Azimio assured him.

Kurt turned to Blaine and began to explain. “I thought you were dead once. It almost destroyed me. I could not bear it if you died again. Not when I could save you.” Before Blaine could reply, Karofsky hoisted Kurt up onto his horse and took off in the opposite direction.

Blaine heart filled with sadness to see his love ride off away from him. They were supposed to be together now that he had returned…

“Come, sir. We must get you to your ship,” said Azimio.

“We are men of action. Lies do not become us,” said Blaine.

Azimio gave him a sly smile. “Well spoken, sir.”

Blaine eyes found something peculiar about Azimio. His hand had…six fingers.

“What is it?” Azimio asked him.

“You have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for you.” And as he finished his sentence, the world went black.


End file.
